Jaws
by CaladriaHaru
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive has taken his crew to the beach.  He is not having fun.  Alois Trancy, on the other hand, has A Plan to get the Earl Of Phantomhive away from the servants who surround and protect him.  Crack ensues.  XD


Heheheheeee :)

This fic was first published for blackbutler(dot)net's Thursday Crack Ficlets #5: Kuroshitsuji Characters at the Beach. Many thanks to Ice for whom I write almost all of my Alois plus Ciel fics and for the idea to do a beach theme in the first place. –CaladriaHaru

"Jaws"

* * *

"Claude, you know what you are to do?" Alois Trancy hands the article to his butler who takes it.

"Yes, your highness," he responds impassively, woodenly, turning the strange object in his hand.

Alois bites his lip, smiles secretively, and then peers out of the beach hut one last time. Still there. The whole lot of them. Ducking back in, his nimble fingers reach up and tug at the black tie, pulling it from his neck with a zip. He unbuttons his vest and throws it behind him with a flourish.

Claude stares at the boy as he begins to go at his shirt. "Master, shall I undress you?"

"Not this time. Your hands are full," he offers, but slows his pace a bit, conscious of his butler's eyes on him. "But," he adds silkily, "you can enjoy the show."

Alois giggles as he bends at the waist and pulls off his shirt. His skin is white and smooth and covered with gooseflesh.

"Ciel~" he hums to himself, "I'm coming for you…"

* * *

"I'm not going into the water," Ciel tells his impatient fiancé for what he believes is the final time. What he _hopes_ is the final time.

"Ciiiiielll!" Lizzy whines, her arms stretched out straight at her sides, fists clenched as she leans forward a little bit, almost off balance in the sand. "But you brought us all the way here for holiday and all you do is sit in this chair and sip tea and read!"

Ciel Phantomhive closes his eyes and places a finger in the book he is reading as he shuts it. He really must end this pointless debate. There are several reasons why he will not expose his body to the world. The world had already taken too much from it; a livid red brand on his back was proof enough.

"Elizabeth, it is a gentleman's privilege to drink tea and read on holiday when he takes his entire household and his fiancé to the beach." He opens his eye narrowly to cut her off. "I dislike the sun, the sand, and the water. I cannot swim. There is literally nothing about this that appeals to me."

Lizzy's face falls, her arms relax and her shoulders slump sadly.

Ciel thinks briefly that it was a mistake to tell her that the beach made him miserable when she was so clearly looking forward to it. He makes a mental note to make it up to her with perhaps a nice seaside dinner under the moon. While the prospect of such a thing makes him feel immediately fatigued, there is the assurance that he will not be asked to remove his clothing or get into the water when the sun has gone down.

"But, Ciel…" she looks up at the silent butler standing behind Ciel's beach chair, "Sebastian could teach you, I'm sure. Couldn't you, Sebastian?" Her green eyes are lividly hopeful.

Sebastian smiles gently at the small lady in her pink bathing outfit. It is modest, flares into a little skirt at her waist, and sports white polka dots.

"I could, indeed, Lady Elizabeth," the butler responds, pleased, "but the Young Master is prone to chills and I fear Lady Elizabeth has more stamina in the water than he. We must look after his health properly, mustn't we?"

Elizabeth sighs. It is clear that she must, indeed. She gives in and puts her hand on Ciel's arm. "Well then, Ciel, I am going to go have a double portion of fun for you too, okay?" she says lovingly, as if the Earl has already come down with a chill or is gasping from a bout of asthma. "Watch me!"

Ciel nods. Elizabeth grins one last time and then scampers off, kicking tiny clouds of sand from the balls of her bare feet as she goes down to the water's edge.

Ciel reopens his book and looks at the page.

"The comment about my lack of stamina was going a bit too far," he says dryly. He can feel Sebastian's smile caressing the back of his neck.

"Forgive me, my Lord."

Ciel frowns. He knows Sebastian is enjoying this. He shouldn't have offered to do this in that moment of weakness when Lizzy was weeping over the sudden death of her favorite pony. And now, here he was detesting the long train ride, the long days out of doors, the nights in an unfamiliar bed when he had enough trouble sleeping properly as it was, and, of course, the commotion.

Ciel blinked.

Commotion? There was currently no commotion. In fact, the only ones on this beach he had rented for three days were Lizzy, Sebastian, and himself.

"Where did the others go?" He asked.

"While young master was reading Finny came back from the amusements inland and told the others that a vendor was giving away free iced cream and free cigarettes. They quickly left to partake." Sebastian paused. "They did ask Young Master if he wanted some iced cream but were waved away."

Ciel turns at this and gives Sebastian a puzzled look. "Iced cream….and cigarettes?"

Sebastian places his hand over his heart. "It is a most strange combination."

The Earl of Phantomhive's eye narrows. "But not strange enough to investigate?"

Sebastian tilts his head, his black hair fluttering in his face briefly as he considers the question.

"Do you wish for me to investigate?"

Sebastian's merlot-colored eyes hold Ciel's for a moment.

The Earl turns around in his chair. He stands up and puts his book down and approaches the opening to the tent cabana to get a better view. Lizzy is playing in the water not far from the beach. The ocean is brilliant, sparkles of light cascading from the meager surf. The beach sand is churned up in places where his servants have been frolicking. Away from the water are the beach huts, simple wooden shacks in a long row, marching down the beach like silent soldiers.

Movement.

Three familiar footmen are sneaking from the huts and head inland.

_Trancy_

Insulting! To try to ruin his holiday! It wasn't that he was particularly enjoying it; it was the principle of the thing!

"Sebastian!"

Did they really think they could get away with it?

"Go investigate. Find those three annoyances and make sure they don't come before me again."

Sebastian hesitates only a moment. He bows slightly. "Yes, my lord," and in an instant he is gone.

_Ridiculous_ Ciel thinks.

He huffs, annoyed, and turns around to check on Lizzy.

That's when he sees the shark. Or rather, Ciel sees the extremely iconic fin of a shark. It is somewhat further away, but without his left eye it is sometimes difficult to accurately judge distance. There is one thing he realizes, however. Lizzy is in danger, and he has just sent Sebastian off on an order to see through. There is no threat to his health to entice Sebastian back, not while he is on the beach and the shark is in the water.

He thinks about calling Lizzy, but then he stops. If he yells, if he is too out of character, if he keys her to the danger she may become so frightened that she is unable to swim. If that happens…

If that happens…

Ciel pulls off his coat and throws it onto the sand. He charges at the water, his heart beating mightily against the inside of his small chest. If his life is in danger…if his life is truly in danger…

Then Lizzy could be saved.

The water is cold. It is in his boots. It creeps up his bare calves and splashes around him as he runs through the shallow waters. Lizzy is a bundle of pink, lying on top of the water like a lilly on a pond. Silent, open, vulnerable.

The sensation of running through water in a panic is one that Ciel knows well. He has it at night sometimes when he dreams: he flails and tries to run to escape some monstrous defilement of his flesh by a horde of masked and hooded men who bear shiny daggers.

The shark fin is close. He clearly sees it circling nearer.

"Lizzy!" he hazards. He is more than waist deep. His teeth chatter but he must reach her. She opens her eyes. She sees him and sits up in the water, her feet touching the bottom. She is clearly concerned and confused at his strange behavior and perhaps the look on his face. He fears he looks terrified.

She opens her mouth to speak.

Just then the water explodes behind his fiancé. In spite of himself and his intentions, Ciel shies back from the surprise. The ocean has been hiding a sea monster with blonde hair.

It's clear Lizzy wants to scream and is startled, but Alois' wet hand covers her mouth and he has her by the waist. Her hands go up to his arms, weakly and futily scrabbling at the hold.

"T-t-t-rancy!" Ciel's expression turns to fury, and he clamps his jaw tight to keep his chattering teeth from betraying any further weakness.

"Shhh," Alois taunts. Water cascades from his hair down his cheeks, across his pale naked chest. He holds his finger to his lips. "I've drowned kittens before, Ciel," he smiles. "You don't like kittens, usually, but this little wet kitten is special." He turns his face and plants a slow kiss on Lizzy's ashen cheek.

Ciel is not thinking clearly. He knows he isn't, but it can't be helped. Shark in the water, Alois in the water: same thing. No, worse. This was planned. He was set up. His pistol was in his coat. On the beach. His servants had been lured away by the promise of free iced cream and cigarettes _of all things_, and he had ordered his demon to take care of table scraps while the real danger had been lurking here all along.

"R-r-r-release her at once!" He balls his fists. His shirt is wet and heavy and clings to his torso. What move should he make? Lizzy is terrified, and Alois Trancy is completely insane. There's a scar on Alois' side. It's still red. Ciel thinks of his own scar and shudders harder.

Alois does not appear to be cold at all. Water glistens from his long lashes and he gives Lizzy a squeeze, nuzzling her neck. He turns his face, half shrouded by her pale neck, one eye taunting him. "Why don't you just come over here and make me," he suggests lowly. "After all, Ciel, you are the one I want."

Ciel sees something like red in his vision. He seethes, his teeth clench, and he reaches out to grab the wrist holding Lizzy's mouth prisoner. He doesn't like the idea that her lips are touching this foul, diseased, maddened creature.

Alois lets free something like a sigh at the contact. He removes his hand from Lizzy's mouth with catlike reflexes and yanks forward. Ciel, his legs numb in the water, is caught off balance and he falls into a double embrace with his fiancé in Alois' arms.

"Ciel," she trembles, confused and shaken.

Ciel gasps.

"Caught you," Alois squeezes his arm around Ciel's neck, forcing him forward and into a pair of cold lips. Saltwater and warmth enter his mouth for a split second while his heart momentarily stops beating.

Ciel opens his eyes.

Sebastian is behind Alois, his black wool suit soaking up water by the bucketful. A silver dinner knife is at his throat. The gleam of red demon eyes is a welcome sight to the shivering Earl.

"Release them, Alois Trancy," his voice is low and fearful.

Alois is not surprised, and he doesn't let go.

"Sebastian Michaelis."

The water parts and a second butler rises. Claude Faustus' glasses are streaked with water. The water cascades from the strange hat he is wearing. The hat is apparently a piece of wood painted slate grey and looks exactly like a shark fin. It is strapped with leather under his chin.

Ciel only has one thought as Sebastian straightens to assess the larger threat of a demon butler with a shark fin hat:

_I am never coming to the beach again!_

FIN

*get it? FIN? FIN! OMG!*


End file.
